Enjoy the Process

Author: Enjoy the Process

  • One Year Anniversary

    – Dedicated to my beloved wife

    I realized this process wouldn’t be complete without an explanation of where the motto “enjoy the process” originated from. I’ll save the full story for another time, but basically it was the theme from the beginning of my relationship with my now wife. When we started dating, or what we defined as courtship (despite a NY Times article released shortly after titled “The End of Courtship?”), there were many hurdles we had to jump over. But instead of looking at them as negatives, we simply wanted to enjoy the process through the good times and bad.

    My wife and I were wedded March 2014 and we recently celebrated our one year anniversary.  There were times that were definitely very challenging, however, the beauty of marriage, a healthy marriage, is something that is incomparable to anything else in life. We shared a few things that we learned or were thankful of after our first year together. A couple of mine are below:

    I am most free when I am with my wife

    There is the adage you hear amongst “bros” when either their girlfriend or wife is out of town, “I’m a free man!” I remember being alongside friends who had girlfriends/wives that would say this and when their “significant” other was no longer around, then it was time to go out and have fun. The sad reality of this condition, especially for those that are committed in marriage, is that the commitment seems more like an imprisonment rather than a joy.

    I wasn’t sure what to expect once I got married how I would react if my wife were to be out of town, but I was given the opportunity to experience this not too long ago. She was away for an extended weekend and the little bachelor inside my head thought, “It is time to have some fun!” However, once apart, I realized after the first night that I was not having more fun nor did I feel more liberated. In fact, life didn’t seem complete. It was then I realized that the relationship that my wife and I nurtured, especially in the earlier stages, was so mutually beneficial that I was able to do everything that I wanted to do even with her. I was so thankful to have a wife that is understanding and it made me want to “sacrifice” certain areas of my life that perhaps some bachelors may view as not worth sacrificing. I know that my life has been more freeing now with my wife than the illusion of freedom during my single hood.

    My reality is better than any fantasy

    The second thing I learned and was tremendously thankful towards my wife may be a little bit uncomfortable for some couples or individuals to read. There is another adage that “men are like dogs” when it comes to their sexual desires.  Though I credit myself to be a little bit more civilized than a dog, I know that if left to my own vices, I am no different and the lure of sexuality is most certainly present in my life.

    What I realized that most men would do regarding these lures is to either suppress them or entertain them in their own minds (the former most likely leading to the latter anyway). I realized that as I would try to keep suppressing or avoiding the thoughts, it would usually lead to frustration as it is no different than trying to stop thinking about a pink elephant in the room. An exercise I did was to just play out whatever lure it may have been, that is, whatever fantasy was conjured up in my own mind (and of course, this will probably look different for everyone). I realized as I “played out my fantasy” in entirety and how it would affect my life, there was no way that the fantasy could ever replace the reality I had with my wife. There is nothing nor anyone that can ever replace her with all our quirks and intricacies that make us us, and that is when I realized that my reality is better than any fantasy.

    Now I must add that a tricky part to this “exercise” is that if the relationship is not healthy, entertaining the lures of sexual desires or playing out fantasies may ultimately lead to a reality, which then will lead to the plethora of broken and hurt marriages and relationships we see today. I must urge that it is paramount to ensure that the relationship is healthy and then be able to tackle whatever other issues present in life.

    All in all, I cannot wait to keep enjoying this process with my wife, and I could not have asked for a better year together. Happy one year anniversary love.

  • 3 Things I Learned from My 1st Business Venture

    I started my first entrepreneurial business venture about six months ago from this date. Initially, there was a lot of excitement to finally take the plunge into this “elite niche society” of entrepreneurs and innovators. The vision was to use a for-profit business in a social good model, in hopes to provide a new business structure for existing businesses and new ones in the future to model after. The hope was to change the way business is done and perhaps see a world where money and profit is not the sole bottom line, but using money and profit as a means to benefit others.

    After the initial excitement inevitably wore off, I soon realized a previous lesson I had learned that the grass is not greener on the other side. However, I persevered through the long hours, the uncertainty of the business working out, disagreements with various people, and ultimately came out of this process with some reaffirmed and new found insights.

    1. Never You can do business with friends or family, just be smart about it
    Having grown up in a family that has been doing business our whole lives, one of the lessons I personally experienced and witnessed was to never do business with friends or family. Although there is some truth to this statement, I learned that it is not the business itself that tears friends and families apart, but it is what the business reveals about the people doing it together that does.

    I learned through this experience that when you choose to partner with other individuals to pursue whatever goal or vision it may be, it is not enough to simply be like-minded or nice people in regards to a social aspect, but the core belief, the attitude, essentially the heart beat of the partners involved must be the same and in tune. If not, it may be possible to work things out, but it will be one bumpy ride.

    2. People don’t exist to be trusted, they exist to be loved
    On a similar note, I was also reminded of the above phrase that I heard in a sermon a few years back. It was said in the context of faith, however I found it very applicable to doing business as well as many areas of life.

    It is important to be diligent with the work that you’re doing, making sure all the “i’s” are dotted and “t’s” crossed, because unfortunately you never know the intention of individuals. Trusting a man’s character or word is no longer something honorable in this day and age and thus it is important to recognize this. However, though this is true, it should not be the focus as this would only debilitate anyone attempting to achieve something for the greater good.

    3. Stay focused and persevere, even when it hurts
    This one is a little bit simpler and a philosophy many have asserted and subscribed to, however this is just another personal reminder of the reality of this side of the coin (i.e., startup business/entrepreneur). The word “entrepreneur” holds a catchy ring to it and corporate office workers seem to dream about escaping and pursuing this idea and concept of starting something new. However, having worked in the corporate office, there is merit in this type of work such as stability and collaboration (read more here) and entrepreneurship is not something for everyone. There are many days that can become drudgery just like office work. There are also many days that are more challenging and difficult since there is no real defined structure, ergo the appeal for some individuals. Having started this journey, I can say that the most difficult and challenging part has been the people I have worked with. Particularly the people that are closest to you, though done with the best intention and care in mind, sometimes have the most hurtful and heart piercing words an individual can hear when trying to aspire to do something grander than the norm. But, sometimes we need to identify the “chicken-littles” in our lives and just pursue on and enjoy the process despite the struggles and pains that come with it.

    Having learned and experienced so much in the past six months, despite the first business venture flopping, I can take this failure as a true success and now am ready to keep on dreaming, keep on aspiring, and hopefully make a bigger impact and change to those around me, to ultimately enjoy their processes as well.

  • Enjoy the Process – The Beginning

    Updated Oct 2020

    This is the first time I am setting up a blog since the days when Xanga was popular!

    There are numerous individuals who’s whose stories we read about after the fact of them “making it,” but hopefully my story will just be one of many who share their honest and real life testimonies while pursuing whatever goals it may be.

    This blog will be a reflection of the journey I take through becoming an entrepreneur, a husband, a believer, now blogger and anything else that comes my way in life.

    I hope you (reader number one and many others), will enjoy the process with me.

    P.S. While attempting to make this first post, it took me some time to navigate the dashboard of WordPress, assuming filling out the “What’s on my mind” draft was sufficient in posting an article. Using the very basic and minimal layout for now (to minimize costs), while probably making many more mistakes, this is already a fun beginning in the process!